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Tuesday 29 January 2013

#155: day sixty-three and ferns are endangered


“Come on!” cried Russell Tusks. “We’ve got to stop it before it eats all the plants!”
Tusks and Miss Wu ran out of the hotel into the exotic garden. Immediately they could see evidence of the dinosaur’s feeding frenzy; leaves bitten in two and teethmarks in stems and trunks. They could hear crunching and munching sounds and ran in that direction.
“It’s found the ferns!” whispered Tusks.
“Oh, no!” whispered Wu. “Poor ferns!”
They reached the fern section and there it was, chomping away on a large mouthful of them.
“Stop!” cried Tusks. ”Those are irreplaceable!”
“I can’t stop!” said the dinosaur. “I haven’t eaten anything like this for seventy million years! It’s so delicious!”
“If you eat those up, it will be the last time too!” said Tusks. “This is the last surviving patch of Pteridophyta vulgaris in the world!”
“I can’t help that!” said the dinosaur, selfishly.
“Well,” said Miss Wu. “You’d better enjoy it while you can! Don’t you want some seasoning with it?”
“No, I’m fine,” said the dinosaur “It’s.....”
Suddenly, Miss Wu took a large silver pepper pot out of her pocket and shook it violently at the dinosaur. Pepper shot out of the holes and the dinosaur, Wu and Tusks all started sneezing violently. 
ACH-CHOOOH! AHHHHCHOOWH! AAAAAA-CHOOOOOOH!
Miss Wu sneezed like she’d never sneezed before, but it was nothing compared to Tusks, whose ears flapped like great, round wings and his trunk curled and uncurled  like a party horn. But that was also nothing compared to the dinosaur, who cocked its head back and whacked it’s great tail on the ground as it sneezed, causing it to jump high into the air. Each time it landed, the pepperpot shot out more of it’s firy contents.
This went on for several minutes until Temples, the airship co-pilot and Singsong, the flight attendant, having regained their composure after their fright, rushed in with napkins covering their beaks and threw a large net over the dinosaur; actually it was the walrus’s king-size hammock. They put a salver over the pepperpot and waited for the sneezing to subside.
“Good job.....ACHOOOOOOHHH!” said Tusks, not quite completely recovered.
“Well done!” said Miss Wu, followed by ACHOOOOH!
“Let me go!” said the dinosaur. “AAAAACHHAAACHCHCHCOOH!”
Temples and Singsong held on to the net until the dinosaur stopped sneezing and jumping, and then tied the ends of the net together.
“A lot of damage done,” said Tusks, looking around at the half-eaten plants and trees around them. “This rare Brussellus Sproutus is going to need some tender, loving care. And look at that poor Venus Fly-trap cowering and shivering in the corner! Still it could have been worse!”
“I’m hungry!” said the dinosaur inside the net.
“Well, you can’t eat any more exotic plants!” said Miss Wu. “I’ll get you some cabbages and lettuces and onions from the vegetable garden.”
“And some carrots?” said the dinosaur.
“Yes, carrots too,” said Wu.
“Runner beans?” said the dinosaur.
“Yes, runner beans too,” said Wu.
“Marrow?” said the dinosaur.
“Yes, marrow too,” said Wu.
“Thank you!” said the dinosaur.
“You’re welcome,” said Wu. 
“And by the way,” said Tusks. “We never found out how you got here!”
“I was rescued by an airship, and then I fell off and landed on your roof!” said the dinosaur.
“The airship!!” cried Wu.
“Where is it?” said Singsong.
“I hope Capt. Cookie is all right!” said Temples.
“I hope so too!” said Miss Wu.



© David Severn 2013

Friday 25 January 2013

#154: day sixty-three and a terrific CRASH!!


“I don’t think they want to be found,” said Russell Tusks, who had just returned to the hotel after giving up his search for the co-pilot and the stewardess in the exotic garden. “I heard whispering and rustling, but I couldn’t find them.”
“I’m sure they’ll come out when they’re ready!” said Miss Wu.
Just then there was a terrific CRASH!! from above.
“What was that!” Wu cried out.
“Sounds like something big and heavy hit the roof!” said Tusks. “I hope it wasn’t the airship!”
“It can’t be!” said Miss Wu. “Captain Cookie is such a gentle pilot!” 
They went upstairs, reassuring guests who had been woken-up and who were standing on the landing or anxiously peering into the corridor from their rooms. Wu and Tusks went up to the top floor of the hotel, and then, nervously opened the door to the flat rooftop, not knowing what they would find there. They certainly weren’t expecting to see a dinosaur!
“Hello!” said the dinosaur, wincing and rubbing its dark, purply-green head. “My name is Chops, nice to meet you!”
“Oh!” said Wu.
“Chopposaurus!” said Tusks, who was a zoologist.
“That’s right! Don’t worry, I’m a herbivore!” said Chops. “And I’m very hungry! Do you have anything to eat? Some giant ferns, perhaps?”
“Err.. there’s some cress in the refrigerator..” said Wu, still a bit shocked to be conversing with a prehistoric beast.
“But how did you get here?”
“Refrigerator?” said Chops. “What is that?”
“In the kitchen.. it’s a sort of... er... ice cabinet for keeping things cool and fresh,” said Wu.
“I’ll help myself if that’s all right. I really am very hungry!” said Chops. And with that it rushed off, scraping its scaly reptilian skin along the bannisters as it squeezed down the staircase.

“Monster!” cried Temples, the co-pilot, and Singsong the flight attendant as they came running into the hotel lobby a few minutes later.
Miss Wu and Russell Tusks had followed the dinosaur down the staircase and into the kitchen, finding the refrigerator open and empty with the remaining non-vegetable contents strewn about the floor. Obviously, the vegetables and salad in the kitchen had not been enough to satisfy the dinosaur’s hunger and it had gone into the exotic garden, inadvertently forcing Temples and Singsong to flee.
“Monster!” they cried again, hugging each other.
“No need to panic!” said Miss Wu. “It’s a herbivore. It won’t eat us!”
“But it might scoff all the precious exotic plants in the garden!” said Tusks. “We must stop it!”



© David Severn 2013

Wednesday 23 January 2013

#153: day sixty-three and off the Moon


Somehow, Wildmouth managed to hold on to the abductees as the airship got away from the Moon and back into Mother Earth’s atmosphere. But Chops’s puny front paws finally let go of the acrobat’s ankles and it fell to earth.
Without the weight of the dinosaur, Wildmouth was able to pull Ron, Winterbottom and the other abductees up into the airship. They sat in the cabin squinting in the unfamiliar bright light, exhausted, but on the verge of giggling at their sudden, unexpected, long-awaited liberty.
Winterbottom had only endured a few hours on the Moon, but he was thrilled to be back on the airship and started vigorously to fulfil his duties, serving lemonade to the other escapees. They watched a magic lantern show starring Wildmouth, who signed autographs for them and lapped up their applause. Ron went back to the cockpit to continue his role as temporary co-pilot.
“Everyone all right?” asked Capt. Cookie.
“Yes,” said Ron. “Except the dinosaur.”
“I expect it’ll be o.k.” said Cookie. “It’ll probably land on something soft, like a haystack.”
“Or a cart full of marshmallows,” said Ron.
“Mmmm...” said Cookie. 

In the Chilly Peaks, Benny was visiting Mars Boulder in his designer-cave. They talked about things, other things, Ron and some other things for a while and then they looked out of the cave and gazed at the Chilly Peaks night sky and the big, bright, silent Moon.
“What’s that?!” cried Benny suddenly.
“I don’t know!” said Boulder. “A fireball?”
“Or a comet?” said Benny. 
Boulder looked through his telescope. 
“Well, it’s got a tail!” he said. “Here, take a look!”
“It’s got legs too!” said Benny. “Big back legs, but puny front ones.”
The strange object fell out of sight.




© David Severn 2013

Saturday 12 January 2013

#152 day sixty-three and RRAAAGHHHGHH!!


“Winterbottom! Are you there?!” Capt. Cookie said again into the megaphone. By this time, four strange individuals had come out of their tents and were looking up in wonder at the airship, but Winterbottom wasn’t one of them - he was still struggling with the zip of his sleeping-bag.
“I don’t think he’s here, Ron,” the captain said to Ron, his stand-in co-pilot. “We’d better go and...”
Suddenly there was a loud roar from the airship’s cabin. 
RRAAGHHGH!!” What’s going on! Where are we?!” shouted Wildmouth, bursting into the cockpit. 
Ron jumped out of his seat and banged his head on the ceiling and Capt. Cookie dropped the megaphone out of the window.
“What are you doing here?!!” he said to Wildmouth.
“I was just having a nice sleep! You woke me up!” said Wildmouth.
“But... What?... Why?... How did you get here?!”
“The door was unlocked!” said Wildmouth. “I didn’t think you’d be going anywhere tonight! Anyway, where are we? I can’t see a thing.”
“We’re just above the surface of the dark side of the Moon if you must know!” said Cookie.
“Stop pulling my tail!” said Wildmouth. “Come on, let’s get back to the hotel. I’m hungry!”
“We’re not going anywhere without Winterbottom!” said Cookie.
“Winter-who?!” said Wildmouth.
“Bottom,” said the captain. “He got stuck on the Moon and we came to rescue him, so please go back to the cabin and sit down while we look for him! You’ve caused enough trouble already!”
“Captain! Listen!” said Ron. “I can hear something!”
They all listened. They could just hear some muffled cursing coming from below, ampilfied by the megaphone.
“What is it?” said Wildmouth.
“Sshhh!” said Cookie.
Just then there was a zipping sound, some panting, more cursing, another zipping sound, and then a voice came loud and clear through the megaphone: ”Captain! It’s me! Winterbottom! I’m here!”

“Hold on!” shouted Capt. Cookie, leaning out of the window. He shone a torch around the surface. “Too many rocks and craters to land here,” he said to his co-pilot. 
“If you can get close enough, I’ll reach out and grab him!” said Wildmouth.
“O.K!” said the captain and he brought the airship to within two metres of the surface. Wildmouth opened the airship’s door and leaned out.
“I can’t reach!” said Wildmouth. “Ron, come here. I need your help!”
Ron went to the door, and Wildmouth held his ankles and swung him towards the surface. Below, Winterbottom took hold of Ron’s wrists and Wildmouth started to pull them in. But then, one of the other abductees grabbed Winterbottom’s ankles, and then another one grabbed their ankles and soon there was a string of abductees hanging from underneath the rising airship. 
“Erk!” said Ron, who was getting stretched.
“Wait for me!” came a voice from the surface, as Chops, the dinosaur, came running along from its crater. With its small front paws, it grabbed hold of the ankles of the acrobat, the last of the chain of abductees.
“RRAAAGHHHGHH!!” Wildmouth roared, huffing and puffing with the strain. The airship zoomed off with the chain of abductees dangling precariously below.
“RRAAAAAAGHHHGHH!!” 


© David Severn 2013

Thursday 10 January 2013

day sixty-three and footprints


The airship, going at full speed, got nearer and nearer to the Moon, and soon craters and rocks were clearly visible. Getting still closer, Capt. Cookie and Ron, his stand-in co-pilot, could see footprints.
“Those look like Winterbottom’s big feet!” said the captain, slowing the airship down.
They followed the trail of footprints, going around and around in crazy spirals and tangents until they suddenly shot off in a straight line towards the Moon’s dark side.
When the airship got to the dark side, Capt. Cookie and Ron could no longer see Winterbottom’s footprints. They couldn’t see anything except the Milky Way.... and a small blue light in the distance.

Winterbottom got into his little tent and sat down. He felt a bit dizzy, but also relieved to have shelter. But how was he going to get home? How long had the acrobat and the other abductees been here on the Moon? How many people were living here? Had anyone ever escaped?

The airship got nearer to the blue light.
“Looks like a police station!” said the captain.
“Nhfh,” said Ron, confused.
Capt. Cookie took his telescope and looked at the mysterious building. He could see one of the police-insects at the window looking up at them, while through the other window he could see another police-insect typing furiously.
“Mmm, no sign of Win....” said Cookie.
“Captain! Look!” said Ron suddenly.
Cookie pointed his telescope in the direction Ron was indicating. 
“Tents!” he cried, taking the controls and moving the airship towards them.

It was quite cold on the dark side of the Moon and Winterbottom had got into the sleeping-bag that had been provided. He started to drift off.
“Winterbottom! Commander Winterbottom!” came a loud voice. “Calling Winterbottom! This is your captain speaking! Capt. Cookie!”
Winterbottom woke up. 
“I’m saved!” he cried, sitting up.
The captain, leaning out of the airship cockpit’s window with a megaphone, repeated his call: “Winterbottom! Are you there?! This is your captain! Please acknowledge!”
“I’m here!” shouted Winterbottom, struggling to get out of the sleeping bag, whose zip had stuck. “Great Auk poo!” he cursed. “Come on, you stupid rotten thing!” he mumbled, trying to get the zip to move. “Captain! Sir! I’m here! Help!” he shouted desperately. 



© David Severn 2013

Wednesday 9 January 2013

day sixty-three and a hello


Capt. Cookie and Ron headed for the airship, taking the bottles of cooking oil on Skates’ luggage cart. Ron had been roped in to act as co-pilot for this risky rescue; Cookie remembered Ron’s heroic antics when the airship was attacked by snow-mice in the Chilly Peaks, and knew he was up to the job. They soon got to the airship and Cookie poured a bottle of oil into the tank and started the engine.
“Ahh! Sounds great!” he said, revving-up. He got Ron seated in the cockpit and showed him the ropes:
“....  and this is the altimetre, the wind speed metre, the... Look!” exclaimed Cookie. “There’s the Moon! Let’s go and get Winterbottom!”

                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hello!” said the dinosaur, loudly, trying to shake Winterbottom’s hand. “Just arrived? Welcome! My name is Chops. Nice to meet you!”
“Win..ter..bot..tom,” said Winterbottom hesitantly. “Nice.. to meet.. you...too...”
“How long... err... have you been here?” asked Winterbottom.
“Well, I’ve lost count really, but around seventy million years, give or take a couple of million.”
“Seventy mill... ?“ Winterbottom trailed off as he tried to comprehend it.
“Yes, it’s a long time, I know!” said Chops. “I was a stupid beast when I first arrived, but I’ve learnt how to speak. It took a long time though!”
“Bhluhh...mm..nnn....” mumbled Winterbottom, flabbergasted.
“I’m always learning new words from other people who get stranded here,” said Chops. “What do you call that thing you’re wearing around your neck?”
“A tie,” said Winterbottom. “How many people are there here?”
“At the camp? Just a few,” answered Chops. “People stay here till they get acclimatised and then they wander off and find a crater to live in. My crater is just over there. Can you get them in different colours?”
“What?”
“Ties.”
“Ties? Err... yes, all sorts of colours and patterns,” said Winterbottom. “How many people....” Winterbottom started to say.
“Do a lot of people wear them?” asked Chops.
“Yes,” said Winterbottom. “But how....”
“I see. Well, I must go. Bye!” said the dinosaur. “I hope you like porridge!”
“It’s porridge for breakfast, is it?” asked Winterbottom.
“And lunch and dinner,” said Chops.
And the dinosaur sauntered off with long, awkward chicken-leg strides, tripping over guy-ropes in the darkness as it weaved between the tents.


© David Severn 2013

Monday 7 January 2013

day sixty-three and a substitute co-pilot is found


Meanwhile, back at the Kola Nut Hotel, it was starting to get dark. Russell Tusks had gone into the exotic garden to find Temples, the co-pilot and Singsong, the flight attendant.
“I hope he finds them soon!” said Capt. Cookie. “The Moon will be coming up soon and I need my crew to help me rescue Winterbottom!”
“Tusks said he’d blow three loud blasts on his trunk when he found them,” said Miss Wu, looking anxiously at the window, where the sky was getting dark.

Back on the dark side of the Moon, Winterbottom was being driven in a police moon-cart by the police-insect. They drove about a kilometre from the police-station in the darkness and were now approaching what looked like a string of big lanterns, but which turned out to be a row of tents. The police-insect stopped the moon-cart. 
“Here’s your tent,” it said, handing Winterbottom a large canvas bundle tied up with rope. “Someone will show you how to put it up.”
“Wait a minute!” said Winterbottom. “I don’t understand! What...”
“Have a pleasant stay!” said the police-insect zooming off in the moon-cart.

At the hotel there was still no signal from Tusks. 
“The Moon’s coming up!” said the captain. “ I must go! But I need a co-pilot! Miss Wu, can you be my co-pilot?”
“I’d love to!” said Wu. “But I have to stay here to look after the guests. I can’t leave them on their own with Wildmouth. Anything could happen!”
“What about the bellboybird?” asked Cookie.
“It’s Skates’ night off I’m afraid,” said Miss Wu.
“Admiral Spicerack?” said Cookie.
“He drank a barrel of rum” said Wu.
Just then, Ron wandered into the lobby.
“What’s happening?” he said.

Back on the Moon, Winterbottom undid the bundle and wondered how on earth to turn the chaos of canvas, ropes and poles into a tent.
“Excuse me,” he said, leaning towards the front of the nearest tent, which was lit up inside. The tent was unzipped and a masked face appeared.
”Oh, hello...err... ” said Winterbottom. “My name’s Winterbottom. I wonder if you could help me put my tent up?”
The masked man stepped out of his tent nimbly. He was wearing a brightly-coloured costume. He did a few somersaults and cartwheels and then then put up Winterbottom’s tent in a few seconds.
“Thank you!” said Winterbottom.
The acrobat smiled and went back inside his tent with an agile step and zip.
Before Winterbottom could get inside his tent though, he heard footsteps and turned to find a dinosaur coming straight for him.

© David Severn 2013