breaking news

Monday 26 December 2011

poll results!

mmm... looks like most people are keeping their hiding places a secret. next poll coming soon. (Percy).

Friday 16 December 2011

lost property office

Found: One Higg's boson. Small-size, purply-green colour. Please claim at the policebirdbox. (from Bill & Bobby).

Sunday 11 December 2011

epipse of the moon

Pip says he took a photosnap of a lunar eclipse last night, but maybe he just got his head in the way.

Thursday 8 December 2011

cinnamon ban

Notice from Bill and Bobby in the policebirdbox.


Please note that as of today, cinnamon is prohibited from being used in apple pies, any kind of danish pastries, or any sweet things, by order of the Spice Council, and ratified (“Is that a real word, Bill?”) by the Spider School Old Boys Knot Club, Strawberryjamshire County Garden Statue Assembly, the Bouncy Castles Trust, the Distinguished Guild of Tarts, and the Association of Villages with Silly or Rude names.

As holder-uppers of the law, it is our duty to do this thingy.

Monday 5 December 2011

snail parade - sluggish movement and trailbacks

The Snail Parade - delays and full stops expected (from Bill & Bobby in the policebirdbox).


Due to the (slowly) ongoing Snail Parade, there will be full stops in some areas for the unforseeable future.



Anyone not wanting to experience pauses, punctuations or long drawn-out passages should avoid these areas.



The Snail Parade lasts for two or three weeks or months or overlaps with next year’s parade, depending on the weather and the excitement.



Anyone needing more detailed information should come to the policebirdbox anytime between lunchtime and teatime (except this afternoon as we are going fishing).

Friday 2 December 2011

refreshments needed

Update from Bill & Bobby: we are still busy at the marsh but we have run out of refreshments. Please bring some sandwiches, biscuits etc. (Preferably not straw and marmalade sandwiches as we have had enough) (broken biscuits are not suitable) (drinks should be hot tea) (no fruit, just in case) (cakes are welcome as long as they do not exceed the icing-tolerance threshold observance order recommendations as itemised in the policebirdforce leaflet amendment 42, section 56, chapter 8, volume 19, appendix 473) (thank you) (actually some cooked rhubarb would be nice) (but no fresh fruit) (if you are determined to bring fresh fruit, or are unable to understand this message, please take the fruit to the policebirdbox and we will scoff it later, when we are back) (if you do intend to deliver fruit, please regard the regulations posted outside the policebirdbox pertaining to cart-parking, stopping, loading/unloading, dropping off, reversing, loud bangs and other noises between what-time and what-time, and all fruit-by-fruit safety procedures - a list of these is posted on the wall somewhere) (thank you) (rhubarb must be in the form of rhubarb and custard, as defined in the policebirdforce handbook on desserts and puddings) (or crumble is yum-yum) (thank you).

Thursday 1 December 2011

marsh

We are surveying a marsh today. If anyone wants to help please come and stand around the edges from 9:00 a.m. to about 4 p.m. (from Bill & Bobby in the policebirdbox).

Monday 28 November 2011

important

Important message:
Ron's holiday postcard delivery delayed by snail parade and spate of balloon-bursting incidents (from Bill & Bobby in the policebirdbox).

Important mess:
Delays between Lettuce & Tomato Station and Octopus Station. Delays of up to two or three weeks or four weeks or longer/shorter expected due to snail parade. Advise walking, running etc.

For further information, contact Bill or Bobby at the policebirdbox. (Please knock, as the bell has fallen off).
P.s. We will be out all day tomorrow surveying a marsh.


Sunday 9 October 2011

day five and a half


A Postron from Card
Dear Percy & Friends
We fiiiiiiiinaly arrived at the picnic spot. It was worth the long trip - just look at the fantastic picnic landscape, the tasty sandwiches elegant trees and the scrumptious cakes beautiful mountains. And Munch the squirrel and Mr. & Mrs. Bossbiber are here as well.

Thursday 22 September 2011

day five - picnic


A Card from Ronpost
Dear Percy & friends,
We are going on a picnic as promised. The ancient camper van thing is very slow and I am HUNGRY. The spiders have opened their web-basket and are eating - fly sandwiches, chocolate-covered flies and moth cake. Mr. Nice says we are nearly there, but he said that one hour ago.

Wednesday 14 September 2011


A Post from Roncard & co.
Dear Percy & friends,
It's good to get off the raft. Our 58 legs are a bit wobbly after all that. We have arrived at the chocolate box cottage. The landlady is Mrs. Nice, who is an eagle. Her husband, Mr. Nice, is going to take us all out for a picnic tomorrow in his ancient Blancmange Period camper van. There's some chocolate bear judo entertainment tonight.

Sunday 11 September 2011

day four - phew!


A Postcard from Ron
Dear Percy & friends
Hey, everybody! We are o.k! We haven't been eaten! We were rescued by a passing Cold Stream Guard Heron. The rotten fish scarpered when they saw his big, black hat and his gleaming sword slashing through the bulrushes. Then he guided us out of the danger area. Phew!
Nice jacket - gold buttons & epaulettes & rope thing.

Friday 9 September 2011

day four - help!


A Postcard from Ron
Dear Percy &
Rusty reedwarblers! Help!
We got lost in the bulrushes. Which way is left? Too late - we are slightly surrounded by all sorts of mad-looking fishy things. We must look like a very tasty dish: stork with spiders, served on a bamboo platter... Percy, you can have all my records..

Saturday 3 September 2011

day four - rafting




Postcard from Ron, fred & friends + 2
Dear Percy & friends,
Today I'm rafting on the River Laze with fred & some of his friends + 2 advanced spiders from the symposium who fancied it. We hired a raft from a beaver*, and he threw in a samovar for no extra charge. He said "If you get lost in the bulrushes, keep left." It's nice & relaxing on the river and we'll stay at a chocolate box cottage tonight.
* Mr. Bossbiber

Wednesday 24 August 2011

day three - spider symposium



Roncard

Dear Percy & friends
It was a lively night at Comfy's - lots of birdmen and birdladies came and emptied all the bottles in the bar.
Today fred and I are moving on - fred wants to attend a symposium at the famous Spider Newton's Institute for Web Studies & Numbers.
fred can count up to ninety, which is good for a young spider, but some spider scholars can count to over 200.

Monday 22 August 2011

about Comfy Roberts



About Comfy Roberts


Comfy Roberts used to earn a living as a cocoa blackberry smuggler executive curtain salesbear seahorse trainer and consultant marshmallow farmer shrimp dealer prune entrepreneur. But, one afternoon he was (wrongly) implicated in a seal polo match-fixing scandal. But, he was let off when he rescued a nice dragon from a bureaucratic nightmare & was awarded a big gold medallion, which he sold and opened his hostel-bar stroke cabinet.

Friday 19 August 2011

evening two - Comfy Roberts' hostel-bar stroke cabinet



Postcard from Ron

Dear Percy & friends

Have escaped from the B.G. Forest and now in a sort of hostel-bar stroke cabinet. The owner is a big white bear called Comfy Roberts, who is just throwing out two drunken badgers who were causing trouble and broke a table leg. Mr. Roberts is actually very friendly and it's fun listening to stories from his colourful life. I'm drinking a grain twisty and a jug of sparkling river water.

(No animals were hurt in the making of this postcard.)
(But the badgers have got a hangover.)
(The table leg is o.k.)

Tuesday 16 August 2011

day two - breakfast at the ghost house


A Ghostcard from Ron
Dear Percy & friends,
Breakfast time at the ghost house. A good night's sleep despite the bed, but a bit bad for fred, who was kept awake by some ghosts - he was scared & lost count after two. He said our host, Munch, came in and told them off. We will be moving on straight after breakfast - it's not nuts, by the way, Munch says it's meusli, but it's just a fir cone - but he has been very kind.

Sunday 14 August 2011

day one - Black Gateau Forest



A Postcard from Ron on holiday.

Dear Percy,

I am in the Black Gateau Forest. It’s rather dark and hot. Fred (oo) says it’s too hot, and too dark. We are staying the night at a small ghost house in the middle of the forest, run by a squirrel called Munch. The bed is too small and too soft. I think it’s nuts for breakfast. Had dinner at an aubergine restaurant - aubergine soup & grilled aubergine, and aubergine beer, aubergine pie & eggplant custard.

From Ron and fred


Monday 8 August 2011

Ron's Summer Holiday




Welcome! Ron is setting off on his summer holiday. Please come again soon to read his postcards and follow him on his travels around the Gardenlands.

ロンの夏休みが始まりました。ガーデンランドのあちこちから葉書をもらえるかも。ぜひまた来てみて下さいね!